Scaredy Cat

“Fear of failure must never be a reason not to try something."
--- Frederick Smith

Yesterday was the first time in a long time I've had negative thoughts in my head, directed at my ability to complete a task.  I know this may sound a bit silly, but it rattled me!  As I was sitting at the dining room table, figuring out how to put together a sewing project, that little voice in my head said, "Wow.  That's brave of you to do for your first project in a long time....without any help.  Maybe you should have picked something a little....simpler?  One that you won't quit?  Or maybe you'll just quit that project like you've quit the others?"  See...I'm not a quitter.  Or at least....the things that are most important to me, I refuse to quit at.  I've stayed in relationships past their date of expiration just because I didn't want to quit.  I've stayed up til the wee hours of the morning trying to get papers done, or projects, or baking, and ended up getting run down and sick because of it.  More recently, I've allowed myself to stop reading a book if it hasn't captivated my attention within an hour or so, but even that has been a struggle for me lately....I look at Amazon.com at the reviews and think to myself:  "If everyone else enjoys it, why am I having a hard time?!"

My attention span these days is very short.  I tend to start and not complete tasks when I get closer to a competition, not because I don't want to complete them, but because I simply don't have the energy to do it, or I start in on something else.

I know that there are so many things that I've accomplished and that I haven't quit....so why am I focusing my energy on the things that I have a difficult time with????

I've been baking up a storm, lately.  Sunday included peanut butter cookies, made with whole wheat flour and honey.  Root beer bundt cake.  Cranberry pecan bread.  Monday was bran-blueberry muffins, and this morning, I baked two loaves of banana walnut bread.  Our house smells AMAZING!

On a positive note, I'm traveling to Spokane for the first time since we moved.  I make it sound like I haven't been there in months!  In reality, it'll have been about 5 weeks?  Hee hee.  Time flies when you're dieting and living at the gym!