Thursday, April 29, 2010

BBQs, good-byes, and lots of photos...

When you look at your life, the greatest happinesses are family happinesses.  ~Joyce Brothers

I found this one, too, that I really like:

You don't choose your family.  They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.  ~Desmond Tutu

God has gifted me with an amazing family.  How else can you explain ongoing traditions, like Christmas cookie- baking parties every December....with chocolate crinkles, Grandma Bernie's sugar cookies and frosting, chili and cinnamon rolls, mimosas, and most of all, great company?  Or summer BBQs....that started before I can remember, way back when Eric and I were the youngest, and watching Geoff, Chris, Stefani....all of Uncle Joel's kids...Aunt Beth's kids...playing badminton, or volleyball in the backyard?  More recently, a time when Uncle Joel and Aunt Laura have made the drive from Gillette, WY to Spokane to spend some time catching up.  Thanksgiving.  Christmas Eve traditions, which have changed a little from what they used to be---but haven't lost the meaning or importance of family getting together and enjoying the company, some cold cut sandwiches, and most importantly...sugar cookies?

Last night, Aunt Penny and Uncle Bill hosted a going-away BBQ for William and I...even nicer, since neither one of us can eat right now, but EVERYONE was able to be there.  As usual, I came armed with my camera and took plenty of photos...enough to drain the battery (but that's not surprising, as the camera is dying a slow death...and will be replaced very shortly!).

 I know how much I'm going to miss being only a short drive from my aunt's house.  Or being able to drive up the hill to watch a soccer game, or a karate graduation.  But the truth is...I think I could have done a better job at all of it.  And my hope is that my relationships with my family will be strengthened as a result of me being away.  I want to get to know my cousins better....and what they have going on in their lives.  I want to hear about Miranda's prom, and see how Adam excels at athletics.  I want to see more drawings and stories that Matthew creates, hear about how school is going for Andrew,and hear about Molly talking up a storm...I can't wait to hear from Abby about her ballroom dancing, and softball, and how running is going.  I'm excited to see more pictures of the handsome young men that Max and Ben are becoming.

I think one of the most difficult things for me right now is that just when I've really started to get to know Madison and Riley better....I'm packing up and moving.  Madison is one of the most beautiful, caring, thoughtful....just simply amazing individuals I know.  Not to mention the fact that she owned William on the dance floor at our wedding reception....I have no doubt that Madison is going to grow up to become whatever it is she wants to be.  And Riley....where to begin?  Our connection is a little different, as I started taking care of Riley when he was about 7 weeks old.  Taking care of Riley was the first time I discovered the capacity of love for another human being.  I'm not a parent yet, so I don't "technically" know what the Mama Bear instinct is...but being his nanny gave me an idea of how much love I can have in my heart for someone.  Plus, we had a lot of dance parties (which showed on April 10) and trips to library story-time...I hope that he always knows how much I love him, and if I haven't done a good enough job of showing the kids what they mean to me, I will spend the rest of my life trying.  Strangely of the first things I thought about when we decided to move is....but what about the kids?  

I'm tearful, now, as I finish writing this entry.  I'm sitting in a dining room full of chaos, in a house where I realized, for the first time, that I could do anything I set my mind to....including becoming a homeowner, surviving losing a job, discovering the love of my life was there all along, and that I could be....amazing.

To my friends and family who are reading this....I love each and every one of you for whatever support you've provided me over the years and I can't wait to see what this next chapter of my life brings us.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Nerves? Check.

Anxiety is the space between the "now" and the "then." Richard Abell 

I found this quote this morning.  Another rough night of sleep, teeth clenched, waking up with eyes puffy and swollen. The list of things to do today includes:

  • meet my parents at the bank to switch my name to theirs on the long Element!
  • change my name on my bank account
  • sit at the DMV to get a new license
  • pack up the kitchen
  • donate the loveseat and desk that got me through some very difficult times
Started the morning with updates and 40 minutes of stairmill with William.  Now THAT'S love. :)  Getting your butt outta bed early to do cardio on an empty stomach?  Followed by a full day of work AND packing?  I love you, Mr. Behr. :)

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Anxious.... we are.  Tuesday, April 27.  My last Tuesday in Spokane...and I know I need to be packing right now, but I hardly know where to start.  I mean, I know it's not like we're never going to be back here.  I shouldn't be stressing about this, right?  It's just....material things.  And if there are a few things the last two years have taught me, it's that when all is said and done, it's the people and the memories that matter.  Some of my favorite people will actually be in the same time zone!  Eric and Jennifer....I miss you guys.  A lot.  So don't be surprised if I'm calling or emailing you a lot because I'm homesick...mmmkay?  Cause I know you've been there.....right?

Why, then, am I so anxious?  This is the first time in 29 years that I've lived, permanently, somewhere other than Spokane, WA.  I feel like I'm in the first grade.....all over again.  I worry about the same things I worried about when I was six, and I can't help but wonder where this is coming from! I going to make new friends?  Will people like me?  What if I get lost?  Where's the nearest library? What about my parents?  And my friends?  And the rest of my family?

I know that some of these anxieties I have seem silly.  I know it. doesn't change the fact that they exist.  They're real.  And I hate them.  I wish they'd disappear.  I wish I could focus on the fact that I have a new and exciting adventure waiting for me in Austin.  I get to go back to school in August!  I get to discover a brand new place!  I get to compete again, soon, and then...I get to enjoy amazing and tasty food!  Like...take a moment to peruse this style.  Oh, yes.

Or maybe you want something for breakfast instead?  This place is on my list, too!

I wish I could say that I haven't studied the menu yet, but I've decided the first time I'm going to have two full stacks of gingerbread with blueberries, and one buttermilk with chocolate chips.  Maybe a bowl of oatmeal, too, and a portobello mushroom omelette (no red onion, no jack cheese, add shredded smoked turkey).

Don't even get me started on this place.....oh. My. GOODNESS!!!

I'm going to need to hit the Walmart for some special "Eating Pants"....or....maybe just a muumuu. :) YUMMY!!!!

Okay.  Now that I've worked some of this out online....and am enjoying, er...eating 4 oz of baked tilapia, I'm motivated to start packing again.  After all, I can't get a Hut's buffalo Dagburger in Spokane, WA, can I?!

Monday, April 26, 2010


Anyone who knows me well knows how much I LOVE to read.  With the amount of stuff going on in our lives right now, which includes and is not limited to:

  • training for my first figure competition of 2010
  • moving from Spokane, WA to Austin, TX which is about a 30+ hour drive
  • moving locations WITH two puppies
  • figuring out how much we can pack into a 5 x 8 UHaul
  • selling the car to the parents
  • deciding what to take with, what to donate, and what to leave behind
So....I suppose it makes sense that I'm having a really difficult time deciding what to read.  Plus....I have to leave my libraries behind. :(  Fear not, as I've already scouted out the libraries and which book clubs I'm going to try to join.  Phew!  Crisis averted....which doesn't explain what I'm going to do for 30 hours, but thanks to Eric and Jennifer, I have two seasons of "Friday Night Lights" to start. 


And....I've started this one.  We'll see....

The Behr Necessities Welcome....

So.....for those of you who don't know, William and I are moving down to Austin, TX! Very exciting, nerve-wracking, and a little chaotic all rolled into one. Plus...I've never lived anywhere but Spokane, long-term, and am a little anxious about everything.

I'm hoping that we can share our adventures---on the road, our new life, competitions, newlywed stuff---on here and keep in contact with friends and family. It'll give me a chance to pursue one of my passions---writing---and venting (not that that's a passion....)

Anyway, welcome, and thanks for joining us! I'll try to blog from the road....starting Friday, we're heading out!