Suffice it to say that this blog has never been something with which I've pursued with much consistency; however, something about becoming a mother has really impacted my heart and my head and I'm feeling more and more like I have a lot to say and nowhere to say it. Well, dear audience, here I am. I'm certain that some days I'll have more to say than others. I'll have moments to share, books to review, cakes to reveal, truthful and honest entries about marriage, and life, and everything in between. Life is messy and exciting, as a new mom. There are days that I feel as though I could conquer the world, but there are just as many where I just want to cuddle our sweet Dashiell and memorize every single part of him so I don't forget these moments in time. I have spent many a moment, gazing at that sweet face---but now, I know, that as he is growing and becoming more independent (and napping with some consistency!) I have time to myself. Time where I can put down, into words, what I'm feeling or thinking. I'll have the opportunity to share what's happening in my life---a book that resonated with me, a date William and I had, or something exciting Dashiell did for the first time. And sometimes...there will be days when a sentence is all I have in me.
I tend to use my Instagram account often, to share about the changes in me since I found out I was pregnant last year. The biggest change is my need to be perfect. I am far from it, and it's been very freeing---almost as though a heavy burden has been lifted off my shoulders---realizing that I have been trying for years to attain something that wasn't attainable and simply left me feeling exhausted and incomplete. I think Arianna Huffington says it well: "The fastest way to break the cycle of perfectionism and become a fearless mother is to give up the idea of doing it perfectly - indeed to embrace uncertainty and imperfection."
I want Dashiell to see me as a fearless mother. I want for him to see that it's okay to NOT be perfect, that to experience life completely means trying new things. Making mistakes. Approaching life with the attitude that anything is possible. Loving this little boy has changed me in so many ways, ways in which I'd never thought possible.